This is a post I put on Facebook Monday and the response was overwhelming.
Welcome to the first not-so-official #MessyMomMonday!
Last week a woman who is an ideal client for me told me that she didn’t hire me a year ago because she thought I wouldn’t be able to handle her dirty laundry (and we ain’t talking underpants here folks). Yep. She thought I had it all together and didn’t have issues with family relationships and parenting. I realized that yes, indeed I really HATE sharing my fuck-ups with the world (especially as a perfectionistic introvert who would rather stay silent), and so I never did…I’d just share this really vanilla Stepford- wife/mom version of my insights about parenting online (while many of my friends and clients who have met me face-to-face know my messy, saucy side).
Then later that night I had a chat with a good friend and fellow mama who is also a highly conscious woman, ex-therapist and business-owner and we both shared openly about how we had earlier in the week had the thought while putting our kids to bed: (even if not openly spoken by either of us, the kids got the vibe) “go to fucking sleep already!”
No. Not pretty. Not even remotely kind or conscious. Mostly tired. Mostly bitchy. Not the calm, grounded, loving mom I want to be. Instead they got the MOMSTER!
My kids call me out (and I call myself out) when I’m being bitchy: They yell “Oh, No! It’s the Momster!” (Because usually this cracks us all up and they get tickled or pig-piled by me.)
It works. laughing at the absurdity of your bitchiness is sometimes all you can do.
Being a mom is messy. I’ve tried so damn hard to control the situation and myself, and what people know about me. I’m an intensely private person. But what I realized is that not talking about those messy mom moments is what makes them happen more often because the shame & guilt of the little voices in my head automatically kick in and then I’m in the no-love zone…
So, here’s to you messy moms who are working on cleaning up your act! I’d love to hear your messes and what you did to clean them up – or if you’re still in the mess and you want suggestions, please ask.
Watch next Monday where I’ll share my (and my client’s & friend’s) messy parenting moments and what we did (or could do) to clean them up!
From My Heart to Yours,
Kris
